Life Changing Word
by chocobit girl
Summary: A baby. I was going to have a baby. Edward. I have to talk to Edward. When Bella finds out that she's pregnant, her thoughts immediately go to Edward. But what happens when Edward isn't thinking about her? Nc 17, language, lemons, 1st fic go easy!
1. Chapter 1

I don't know how long I sat on the tiles. It could have been minutes, hours, I don't know. Time became unimportant. What was important was the white stick in my hand that displayed the one life changing word.

Pregnant.

How was this possible? I mean we were being so careful. I've been on the pill since before we started sleeping together! O my God what will Charlie say? Will he kick me out? O God, I groaned, what will Edward say?

I met Edward when I had just moved to Forks during the holidays before my senior year of high school. I was 17 and a junior, but due to my photographic memory Renee always pushed me harder, to be better than she was at my age. I wanted to study photography. The colors in the world fascinated me, and all I wanted to do was capture them.

I had decided to go for a hike to get to know the forests a little. The forests had always fascinated me as a child. I never knew what the draw was. Was it the colors? Or the sounds of insects and animals? Or possibly the smell? I never knew what it was that I loved the most.

As I walked through the forest, I began to realize I hadn't a clue of where I was going. I turned around and hoped I could find my way back to Charlie's house. Basically I managed to get more lost. I kept walking, hoping that I could find a way out, when suddenly; I saw some gapping in the trees. I walked towards the light, and then found myself staring at a beautiful meadow, something I only usually saw in pictures. It was indescribable. The tall grass, the wildflowers, the trees, the smell, invaded my senses. It was beautiful.

Suddenly, I became aware off eyes on me. I looked around but couldn't see those eyes, until I looked up.

Sitting in a tree was the most beautiful boy I have ever seen.

Reddish brown hair, a chiseled jaw and the most piercing eyes I have ever seen stared at me.

"What are you doing here?'' the beautiful boy said.

It took me a few seconds to realize what he had said.

"Um I-I was w-walking, trying t-to get to know the area a little but got a little lost. I'm sorry to intrude, I didn't know that their was somebody here, I-I'll just be going.''

Great, just great Swan, you've just managed to make yourself look like a blushing, bumbling tool, in front of the most handsome lad you've ever seen.

I heard a tud on the grass. I quickly turned around. Beautiful boy was standing in front of me. All my teenage mind could think of was FIT!

He was tall, lean but not too muscular for his age. He leaned up against a tree and smirked at me and I couldn't help but think of the poor female species. This fine man could put anyone of us into submission with that smile.

"If your so lost why would you leave on your own to find a way out of a forest you don't know?'' he said still smirking at me.

"How else am I going to get back?'' I responded thinking of ways to get out, without swooning in front of this boy.

"Wait a couple of hours and I'll bring you back, I just got here and I don't want to go yet. Id hate to see the chiefs daughter getting lost'' he said with that panty dropping smirk. He's going to be the death of me. Wait a minute.

"How do you know that Charlie's my dad?''

He laughed, it sounded like bells, no laugh should sound that good, "Isabella, Forks is a small town, where everybody knows each other, when somebody new is coming here, its big news, the gossip spreads like wildfire here'' he said while chuckling.

I blushed while he walked over to the middle of the meadow and sat down.

He patted the space next to him, I couldn't refuse, I needed to be close to him.

And that was it. From that day on we were friends, no best friends. All through summer he picked me up from my house to do different things. I met his family and I have to say they are amazing people. Carlisle and Esme, his parents were the nicest people I've ever met, Esme was like the mom I wish I had, and Carlisle, he worked in the hospital. Em, we've met a lot due to my clumsiness, I'm not going to elaborate.

But I have to say Emmet and Alice, Edwards's brother and sister are incredible. We clicked. Alice was a fashionista, while Emmet was a sportsman all the way. Alice and Edward are twins, my age but unfortunately for me were heading into their freshman year, while Emmet who was seventeen and heading into his junior year.

All summer it was either the meadow with Edward, the mall with Alice, the x-box/ sportsathon especially football with Emmet, dinners with the Cullen's, the ER with Carlisle and helping Esme around the house.

Unfortunately it wasn't the same in my own house. Charlie and me barely knew each other. It was tense and awkward, neither of us knowing how to live with the new situation. Renee my mother, well if you could call her that, lived in Florida with her new beau Phil. A major league baseball player. Once she got her rich husband she needed "space'' and "time" for her new husband without a "hormonal teenage girl" around. And since the "hormonal teenage girl" didn't turn out the way Renee wanted, basically I got $1,000,000, to live my life without Phil and her and Charlie got the same for putting up with me.

On the last day of summer Edward asked me to be his. Obviously I responded yes. I was ecstatic. He was everything a girl could want. Loving, loyal, playful, a true romantic, funny and unbelievably handsome.

He told me he loved me that day.

I told him I loved him that day.

Maintaining our relationship hasn't been easy, but we made time for each other. Before school, after school and weekends, although Tuesday and Thursday evenings and Sunday afternoons were reserved for family time. As much as I love Edward, I also love his family, therefore we agreed to this compromise.

We had sex for the first time on New Years Eve. We wanted to ring in the New Year in the most memorable way possible. Oh and we did. It was the perfect way to end the year and the most passionate way to show each other how much we loved each other. After the first time, well we found it hard to stop.

Edward was incorrigible. He wanted it all the time. I was the same.

Throughout my senior year, I maintained my 4.0 GPA and continued my passion of photography. I hadn't told anyone yet, but next year, I was accepted to Brooks Institute in Southern California to study photography. I was beyond excited to share the news, but now, everything's changed.

Edward. I had to talk to Edward. I called him 5 times. He didn't pick up. For Edward that was extremely unusual. He always took my calls.

His House.

I should go to his house. Esme will tell me where he is.

I drive over to his house in my Toyota Pruis and find Edwards car there, along with some randomers car.

_Whose car is that?_

I think of the white stick again and suddenly can't breathe.

Edward, I need Edward.

I walk inside and call out for him.

He doesn't answer so I assume he's up in his room listening to his music, as usual.

_I wonder why he didn't come over to my house. If he was so bored he could have come to mine._

I walked upstairs towards his room, typical guy, music was blaring, how didn't I hear that when I first came in.

"YES GAWD YES EDDIE RI-RIGHT THERE SHIT!"

_What the fuck?_

I took the last steps toward his room.

"FUCK ME EDDIE FUCK ME!"

I opened the door and stopped breathing.

Lauren, the town whore, riding Edward.

Edward lying there in all his beauty letting her ride him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I screeched.

His eyes snapped open.

"Bella" He whispered.

He shoved Lauren off him, "Bella its not what it looks like I can explain."

"Fuck sake you prude you couldn't even let us finish." Grumbled Lauren.

I couldn't think, my heart was beating so fast, Edward stumbled towards me, in a pair of boxers.

He. Put. His. Dick. Into. Lauren.

"Stay away from me" I whispered.

He kept walking towards me.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME" I screamed.

"Bella" He whispered, "I can explain, I di-"

"SHUT UP"

I looked for Lauren but she must have went out through the bathroom.

"FUCK" I screamed, unbelievably pissed off.

"Bella please" He begged.

"No" I whispered.

"Were done", I breathed

"No Bella were not we can fi-"

"WERE DONE! DON'T TOUCH ME, DON'T TALK TO ME, JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

I ran away from him, straight to my car.

"BELLA!" He screamed running after me, stumbling towards the garage.

I couldn't look at him; all I can see is him and _her_.

I sped down the driveway to my house, crying all the way home.

_Why did he do this to me?_

I ran straight up to my room, locked the door and collapsed on my bed.

I cried.

For me.

For Edward and me.

Most of all for our baby.

Our baby.

_What am I going to do?_

My phone kept ringing. Ugggg I smashed it in irritation. Why couldn't I have peace, stability, for once in my life.

I went over to my work desk and got I tissue, I needed to clean myself up before Charlie came home and saw me like this.

Then I saw it.

The answer to everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm back! I am so sorry for this long wait. I know excuses are well out of the question but I'll give them anyways. College has been kicking my ASS! Like seriously who knew it would be this hard :/ And also alcohol and reading over chapters when your drunk really isn't smart! Anyways here is the next chapter. Let me know what you think **

**Nc 17 rating is earned here. Foul language, underage drinking and drug use. (Which btw im 100% against drugs!)**

**And apologies for any mistakes, this is unbetaed and there is no pre-reader other than myself.**

No. I can't do that. I will not run halfway across the country just to hide from him. How could I look my child in the eye and admit that my cowardice denied him a family?

_Him? Bella, take it handy you don't know what your having, or _if_ your having_-

No I'm having this baby. My baby is completely innocent. My baby comes first. My baby is the reason I'm going to be a single teen mom.

Teen mom.

What am I going to do? Charlie hates me; Renee doesn't want me and Ed-

Edward.

Edward.

I can't deal with him right now.

I can't deal with everything right now.

With that thought in mind, got into bed and did the one thing that I told myself I shouldn't do for him, but yet the only thing that made sense right now.

I cried.

I cried until there where no tears left, until exhaustion took over.

_Bang Bang Bang! _What the fuck? I put on my hoody and went down the stairs to see who it could be.

"Bella I know you're in there, I'm begging you please, please open this door!"

_Him._

Game face Bella, you can do this. You need to do this before you fall for his excuses.

_How could I be so stupid? How could I not see that he was fucking that skank on the side?_

After I rubbed away the evidence of the earlier tears, I walked towards the door, took a deep breath and finally open the door.

"Edward"

"Bella, I can explain it wasn't what it looked like." said Edward with a frantic look on his face.

I put on my best poker face, fighting through the pain that wanted to consume me, "Why don't you come in and we can discuss why you decided to fuck the one person that has always wanted to destroy us?" I stated with a sneer, standing aside and opening the door wider.

"Bella"

I didn't respond, I walked into the sitting room and simply took a seat knowing that fainting wasn't an option, wasn't healthy for my baby.

He followed me and remained standing, looking like someone was inflicting the worst type of pain on him.

_Bella don't start to sympathize for him! He did this not you!_

Game face.

"Just tell me why? Just why would you do this to us? What did I do that was so wrong that you needed to seek comfort elsewhere?" I whispered not trusting my voice.

"Baby I'm so sor-"

I cut him off.

"DON'T you dare call me baby, and don't you dare tell me your sorry! I asked you why you did this you dickhead! Just tell me why and we both can move on with our lives!" I shouted.

_Breathe Bella you can do this._

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes I saw a shadow of the Edward that was once mine.

"Bella." He said in a soft voice. "I have never wanted to hurt you please, I beg of you please believe that. I love you always just keep that in mind when I tell you this" he took a deep breath again.

"Two months ago Lauren and her parents came over for dinner. That was the night you and Alice had your sleepover and Rose and Emmet were out. Dinner went fine, I was so surprised, having expected Lauren to flirt like she always does but she was _nice. _She was acting like someone I could actually be _friends _with. During dinner Esme and Carlisle broke out the wine and we all over indulged, as you realized the next day. While the drink flowed, everyone was so at ease with each other. Lauren suggested that we leave the parents to their devices and do something _fun. _Stupidly, I agreed. I'm not going to tell you the gory details but basically we did stuff, and by stuff I DON'T mean sex."

He closed his eyes and waited for my response.

….

He really did it?

He really cheated on me.

The realization of this ripped apart my insides with the pain. Shocked and humiliated I closed my eyes for a minute and reveled in this pain.

Pain _he _caused by _her_.

"Bella?" He whispered.

The sound of his voice ripped me out of my pain induced high and put me back into reality.

_Get your answers and get him out of this house!_

With fierce determination I looked him straight in the eyes and asked him the question that he _still _never answered.

"Thank you for that lovely history lesson. Its really so fascinating to learn that the person that promises you the world everyday rips your world apart. Now for the last time can you tell me why you did it? And because of your history lesson how long its gone on for?"

_Well done Bella!_

He looked at me with his agonized piercing green eyes. For the first time they didn't affect me.

_No electricity._

"Bella, I love you so much you have to know that. But I was scared so scared that I'd lose you so I didn't tell you about that night. Lauren agreed with me, she said you didn't deserve that so we kept it to ourselves. For the first time ever I trusted Lauren. It was the biggest mistake I ever made, apart from betraying you."

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and continued in a soft voice that I had to strain to hear.

"Last week she came to me and tried to blackmail me. She basically said lets fuck or she would tell you everything. I had until today to make up my mind."

Shuddering, and finally opening his eyes he looked at the floor.

"She came to me today and she had pictures." He whispered.

"I never wanted you to see those pictures so I did what I needed to do. Smoked one of Emmet's joints, washed it down with some Jack and gave into her." He whispered at long last dropping to his knees sobbing.

I don't know how long I sat there, how long he sobbed. All I knew was numbness.

All I thought I knew about my life was gone.

Finally, he broke the silence, looking me straight in the eyes he whispered.

"I love you Bella. More than my life and I'm not giving up on us. I know I've betrayed you in the worse way possible, the fact that your hurt causes me pain. But I swear to you I will do everything in my power to fix it. I'm yours forever Bella, please let me fix us."

_No electricity._

I stared at him, still feeling the wound he caused but felt _nothing _at the same time.

"Bella?"

"Don't, just don't. If you loved me so the thought of doing that with her wouldn't have even crossed your mind. You destroyed us by not keeping it in your pants and now you can live with that for the rest of your life. The fact that you're even humoring the thoughts of me giving you a second chance is laughable.-"

Suddenly he stood up and paced. A fierceness that I never knew he had graced his features.

"Don't you dare give up on us Bella Swan! We love each other that's more than enough. What happened to us against the world? Where supposed to be a team. An unstoppable team, most likely to get married according to the Forks High yearbook! Please tell me your not going to let my one foolish mistake destroy us. We are stronger than that Bella, I know it and you know it!"

"We can get through this." He ended in a whisper, vulnerability clear on his features.

Unfortunately, the numbness disappeared, leaving in its wake the unbearable pain.

_This needs to end Bella. You need him out ASAP because I am telling you right now Bella Swan. You. Will. Not. Cry. In. Front. Of. Him._

Shut up inner voice!

With a bravery I never knew I possessed, I stood up and walked over to him and grasped his hands in mine.

_No electricity._

Looking into his eyes in a soft voice I prepared myself mentally for what needed to be done.

"Edward. This morning I loved you, but right at this moment I _hate _you. I hate what you've done to me, to us. And I don't know when this hate will subside. So right now I am telling you no. I don't want us to get through this together. I don't want the words me and you to be in the same sentence. I don't want to hurt you but this needs to be said. You said you made one foolish mistake. You where wrong. You betrayed my trust when you chose to cheat on me, you lied to me about it and finally you didn't trust my judgment when I told you to stay away from her." I ended closing my eyes, willing away the tears.

He gripped my hands tighter and started to speak. I cut him off.

_End this._

"No Edward you got to speak. I want you to go. Don't contact me until I contact you, don't use your parents or Alice or Emmet to communicate with me, just don't. Right now I just want to be left alone so please listen to me for once." I said staring at him straight in the eyes.

He looked dumbfounded, like I just spoke Latin or something. He just simply held onto my hands until the words made sense to him.

After some time passed by he finally realized what I said. The look of agony that passed his face shook me to my core, making me waiver, making me want to comfort him.

_Be strong._

_End this._

Finally coming to his senses he responded in a whisper.

"If you really want me to go you have to mean it. If you want me to stay away from you I need you to tell me straight up. And for Gods sake Bella mean it."

I looked into his eyes and prepared myself on what needed to be done.

He started to cry.

I can't do this.

We can get through this, if we tr-

_Bella you shouldn't have to try. You're sixteen. It shouldn't be this hard at sixteen. And its not all about you anymore, your baby doesn't deserve to be brought up in an environment of distrust._

Put your big girl pants on and _end this_.

Clearing my throat and looking into his eyes, I said the words that needed to be said once and for all.

"We are done. I want you to stay away from me. I hate you Edward Cullen. You've destroyed us and I have nothing left to say to you, now get out of my house."

With a look of determination on his face, he kissed my forehead and spoke his parting words.

"I will get you back, I love you too much to lose, but I will honor your wishes and stay away from you now. Whenever you're ready to talk I will be there. I'm yours Bella, even though you might not want me now I will _always _hope for the future."

With that he let go of my hands and walked out of my life without looking back.

_Silence._

With a heavy heart after locking the door, I made my way up to my room. Did the mechanical actions of getting ready for bed and spent the first of many nights alone with my tears.

**I hope this was okay and any tips would be well appreciated. I don't know when the next chapter will be up. I've exams next week so maybe the week after? **

**Please let me know what you think, I've been really unsure lately on whether or not I should finish this story cause its so hard to anticipate what you readers want to read. But be assured if I do finish this fic it WILL be done by the end of the summer **

**BTW any reviews that I haven't responded to I will respond to **


	3. NOTE

**I know I've said that the next chapter would be up soon and I meant that at the time, but now things are different. I really don't like how I've started this story, and trying to fit the plot round something I genuinly dont want to write about is kinda impossible. So basically either im going to change the ages a little and tweek some bits or Im probably not goin to finish this story. If I do finish this story I won't be doing it on a schedule since I can't seem to meet deadlines I set :( I am so sorry for any inconvienence caused :(**


	4. Chapter 3

I wish I could say that everything worked out for the better.

That we made up.

That what I saw wasn't real.

That we got back what was once envied by others.

I wished for miracles.

I wished for a lot of things back then.

To love forever, to show that love in our marriage vows, to paint the white picket fence and most of all create the children through our _love_.

It didn't seem like much to ask for at the time, little did I know it could be broken so easily.

Words, actions_, feelings_.

All of which broke us.

"I love you so much Elizabeth Marie Cullen. My arms long to hold you." I whisper softly to my beautiful daughter with all the love I could possibly put into my voice.

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

"Never forget my love."

I gently set down the flowers next to the flame that never went out.

* * *

_Elizabeth Cullen._

_Taken too young, but forever in our hearts._

_Those we love don't go away,_

_They walk beside us everyday._

I wiped the tears off my face.

And finally made the decision to do what needed to be done.

* * *

**Its been awhile, RL really has been tough :( **

**But I couldn't get this out of my head and needed to put it up.**

**I know its short but I can be persuaded to write a longer chapter to explain the events ;)**

**Bits lip nervously to await reaction….**


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